Captain Falsebeard in a Very Fishy Tale by Fred Blunt

Get your pirate on!

Turn one hand into a hook, close one eye and follow these rules that I have borrowed from

Double up on all your adjectives and you’ll be bountifully bombastic with your phrasing. Pirates never speak of “a big ship”, they call it a “great, grand ship!” They never say never, they say “No nay ne’er!”

Drop all your “g”‘s when you speak and you’ll get words like “rowin'”, “sailin'” and “fightin'”. Dropping all of your “v”‘s will get you words like “ne’er”, “e’er” and “o’er”.

Instead of saying “I am”, sailors say, “I be”. Instead of saying “You are”, sailors say, “You be”. Instead of saying, “They are”, sailors say, “They be”. Ne’er speak in anythin’ but the present tense!

Arr.. By the powers! This hearty, booty of a book be worth a treasure chest of pieces of eight! Etc, etc…

Everyone loves a good pirate name. But I absolutely love this one – Captain Falsebeard, I love how ludicrous that is. Fred Blunt’s character design is brilliant, I find it hilarious that he has this ginger false beard that’s always half attached to his bald, smooth face.

In the story we meet Captain Flasebeard and his archenemy Admiral Swinetoes. Captain Falsebeard discovers the legendary Crossbone treasure. But Admiral Swinetoes comes up with a cunning plan to take it from him.
Will Falsebeard be able to retrieve it again? I won’t give away the ending.

This is Fred Blunt’s debut picture book and it is very, very funny with wonderful illustrations and a great story. Highly recommended.

Published by Puffin.

Follow Fred on twitter.

Check out the magpie he did for me.


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